Lizada: Merry go round

Rene Lizada

YOU cannot always have everything.

Having said that, let me introduce you to our six dogs. We have two females: Buchi, a mid-sized dog with a really fierce attitude and Chewee or Chewie, a small bundle of joy. The males: Scrappy, a small dog who likes to meditate, Pong who scratches himself, Stewart who likes to crawl, and PJ whose purpose in life is to be carried like a baby (Stewart is a little big) while PJ is a cute and needy doggie.

Now comes the interesting part. This time of the year, our two females go in heat. Why they do it at the same time I really do not know. Perhaps they planned it but I doubt that because Chewee is deathly afraid of Buchi who once bit her that the small dog had fever for two days. But both are in heat. It gets worse.

Pong likes Chewee but Chewee likes Scrappy who in turn likes Buchi, who as destiny would have it, has the hots for Pong. And this reminds me of “Mahal kita, mahal mo siya, mahal niya ay iba. Mas mapalad ka mahal kita, Sa 'kin walang nagmamahal.” Well, strictly, it is not love but you get it right? Those who have several dogs know what this feels and looks like.

You see, Pong and Chewee are house dogs. They stay inside most of the time especially Chewee, who seems to have an aversion for open spaces. They both stay inside the house and they sleep in our room. In normal days, there are no problems but in these heated days, we get into sorts of situations.

We had to buy Chewee dog diapers to avoid unwanted entries. So the poor dog walks around the house in her diapers. The “poorer” dog is Pong because in spite of the barrier, he tries, to dog’s highest efforts, to try to satiate himself. But there is the damn diaper! But no! He still tries and tries. Chewee does not like being hounded so she snaps back but Pong is just single minded. No stopping the heat!

A few days ago, we separated them. Pong outside, Chewee inside the room. For a while it worked. For a while. Because right in the middle of the night, we were awakened by this eerie sound of a dog crying out his love call. You know the sound of a dog barking in a horror film? Well something like that, but with Pong it sounded like, “please ipapasok niyo ako sa rooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom.” We ended up laughing.

Recently, something happened. One morning, the two dogs were in the room. One was chasing the other and the other was snapping back. But her diaper was tight as ever. It should be with masking tape all over - a dog’s chastity belt.

Anyway, I was about to start my morning prayer and it is my habit to at least devote five minutes to quiet down and focus. I do this by closing my eyes, then taking deep breaths. This usually works but not this time. My eyes were closed but there was a commotion. My breathing was slow when I opened my eyes. Pong was humping Chewee diaper and all.

And that is only both dogs here. I have not even talked about Buchi and Scrappy. Yet. Because as of this writing, Buchi has not yet began to look and smile desirable. But it will come and when that happens I will be so scared because now we shall be watching four dogs do the merry go round of love and lust.

I am not so worried about Stewart and PJ because they are still young. Stewart is satisfied if he can crawl. He thinks he is some predator, I guess and as for PJ, he likes to be carried like a baby. He is happy with that already.

But as for Pong, the journey continues!