Michelle: Prince wrote and asked for advice on whether or not he would tell his girl bestfriend that he has feelings for her. Even with all the love bursting in his heart, I can understand his hesitation. First, the girl already has a boyfriend but more than that, I think the guy is afraid that disclosing what he really feels for her might push her away because she might not feel the same way as him.
DJ: It’s a tricky situation. It happened to me too. But her blank stare gave me a hint when I summoned enough cajones to say the three words. Yup, I was discarded like a slushy chunk of residue coffee ground abandoned by its juice. Ideally, falling in love with a friend should not be a problem. Friendship is a sound foundation for a dating relationship. But the risk remains high. There is still that bump on the road he has to hurdle if he decides to leap from friend to flame. It’s not always easy to dare to go beyond the friend zone.
M: When a guy starts to like a female friend and develops deeper feelings for her, I was told that sometimes guys won’t pursue the matter because the girl is a friend and it will affect their friendship. I asked a good friend Raymund why this is so. He said that even if a guy becomes interested in a female friend, the complications, at times, appear too big that it’s better that they remain just friends.
DJ: Prince’s case is even more complicated because his girl friend (two words) already has a boyfriend (one word). It’s possible for his attempt to be met with her jaws gaping wide and eye popping out. It’s an epic task to be in his shoes. The pain is in the decision-making process. But what’s my take on his dilemma? He might as well tell her how he feels if that’s the only way to move forward. Even if she is in a relationship. As long as they are both single, the possibility remains open. I don’t mean he’s going to immediately utter the three words and ask if she feels the same. This will potentially backfire. Start by dropping hints like saying, “If we were a couple, I would …” Whatever be her decision, at least he’s left with no regrets.
M: Revealing one’s innermost feelings to another person takes courage. We need the assurance that we will still be accepted and loved, especially if what we divulge are the skeletons in our closets. We just have to take a leap of faith and bare what’s in our hearts so that we can have peace of mind and comfort for the soul. When we leave our comfort zones and risk being hurt when we declare our feelings for another, we might just be surprised that that’s all it takes to experience our greatest love of all.
DJ: The sad thing about courting a friend is it can go horribly wrong. It’s possible that after all is said and done, one will realize that the whole movie played again and again in one’s head will just end with this—she’s just not into you. And things will never be the same again. But the heart is made of stronger stuff. We are still free to love others even if they do not love us back. Besides, we only have one life to live.